The Way I See It:
The Confidence-Busting Deeds of “O.J. Blagojevich

To the untrained, non-cynical eye, it probably appears that Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and the tormented ex-football star O.J. Simpson have little to nothing in common.

The latter divided the nation along racial and legal lines with charges that he brutally murdered two people and has made one boneheaded and illogical misstep after another once he escaped conviction. He’s been vilified far and wide for acting as if the laws of the land don’t apply to him: that he can waltz into a hotel, most recently, with a few of his turncoat buddies and threaten people in the interest of regaining personal possessions he lost in a civil suit won by the family of one of the victims.

The other guy, whose healthy mane has never met a brush it didn’t like, has never been accused of murdering anyone, but has murdered his reputation as an alleged reform-minded public servant. He has absolutely slaughtered and rendered lifeless his chances of being elected to anything more than the sergeant at arms for the condo association the governor could belong to in the near future if he’s impeached or resigns, loses his gubernatorial income and sadly, for his kids, loses his home.

And then there’s the difference in their apparent sense of awareness. While O.J. has found his way into the annals of infamy by, at least, pretending, at one point, to care about finding the “real” killer of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, to date, Gov. Blagojevich is acting as if he hasn’t even been accused of violating the public trust and allegedly trying to sell President-elect Barack Obama’s senate seat to the highest bidder, among other allegations.

But upon closer examination, start with this fact: O.J. and the governor have fallen on their own swords and have self-immolated in a way that would give Jack Kevorkian pause. Taken together or separately, their hubris and myopia are disease-like and require an inoculation.

Simpson is in jail (likely in the area designated for sub-moronic dolts), and Gov. Blagojevich stands a great chance of ending up there, unless he starts singing like a opera diva on speed and implicating any and everybody who has agreed to “pay to play” to secure state business, favorable political consideration and board and commission appointments.

This is not to say that America should turn its collective cold shoulder on elected officials, in general, and governors, in particular, or to former pro athletes who once dazzled us with their eye-opening physical and mental prowess. However, deriding the governor and O.J. is justified because voters and fans alike are sick and tired of being sick and tired at the unpredictable, unruly, uncalled for, sometimes unlawful and untenable actions of those who ask for and get our confidence and support.

Taken another step further (and indulge me as I struggle to find non-profanity-laced ways to express my utter contempt for posturing people who pimp and pander to the public for personal gain), it’s not a stretch to morph O.J. and the governor into one deceitful caricature who suffers from legendary delusions of grandeur, unbridled ambition and a sense of entitlement that makes Napoleon Bonaparte look like a nun.

Let’s call this new fusion of lawbreakers “O.J. Blagojevich.”

Let’s also call this blended outcast the bane of politics, a racial lighting rod, the antithesis of voter registration efforts and, closer to home, a puss-filled wart on Illinois’ political image—one that is ready to burst and infect the incipient presidency of the first African American man whose audacity to hope captured for him and his supporters our highest elected office.

This amalgam reminds me of the sneaky Lucy character who year after year cons an unsuspecting Charlie Brown into taking another ill-fated kick at the football Lucy is holding. Now, the essence of cartoon lore, a naïve Charlie lunges at the football. Lucy devilishly pulls it away and watches Charlie fall on his flat butt.

I don’t take issue with elected officials, pro athletes and female cartoon characters who prevaricate and repeatedly act selfishly and contrary to accepted normal behavior. Actually, quite to the contrary. I respect and admire those who run for office and demonstrate their commitment to public service. I’ve never idolized athletes but have been a sports maniac since I could speak. And who doesn’t love a cartoon character who acts out the creative genius of their creator?

I do, however, take issue with a gullible public that doesn’t demand we figuratively take off the traitors’ heads when they run afoul of the law and decency in a major way. In that regard, like Frankenstein’s creator, we created and nurtured O.J. Blagojevich and might just deserve what we’re to get.

What’s more, any man who actually looks like a combination of O.J. and the governor would be scary in his own right.